Her

At this point in my life I’m currently single and met a woman a year ago. I’ve battled with myself for so many years about being attracted to women.

After my last encounter with a woman I told myself I’d never get involved with another one until I met Her.

It all started at work where I was told to find Her and have her work with me because my coworker in my department was out that day. I said her name and she turned around and smiled. Those perfect pearly whites lit up the place and blew me away. Star struck is what I felt and I thought wow what a beautiful woman and damn I need to sleep with her.

Long story short we got involved and it was interesting but the spark has worn off. Feelings had built up but it’s like an emotional roller coaster.

This by far is the most complicated person I’ve ever been involved with. Tired, emotionally drained, mentally drained and confused is what I’m feeling. No communication is like walking in a maze for hours and not finding a way out. I’m just stuck. How do you get someone to talk that doesn’t like talking?

From The Hood To Society

• When you live in the “projects” or “the hood” you either become it or break from it. – Mindy Nieves

Living in the hood has it’s certain ways of being. You don’t have to live the same way everyone else does. If one girl dresses a certain way and is popular then every other girl will dress the same style. If one boy joins a gang then every other boy joins a gang. Too many followers and not enough leaders. 

One thing that’s for sure is there’s always a drug dealer and eventually someone will rat him out and play 2nd fiddle to the police and get the drug dealer locked up in hopes that they won’t have to do any kind of time for their crime which is inevitable. The sad part is that 9 times out of ten the drug dealer sold drugs cause he wasn’t taught any better by his family and was subjected to that lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that goes for all drug dealers. Some families have the mom that sold drugs and went to prison, the dad, aunt, uncle, cousins, and practically a whole blood line. Then there’s prison time for him where he has to look over his shoulders everyday and subjected to fighting to establish he’s not a punk or weak. After prison he has to adjust back into society and some will go back to their old ways and some are looking to change. There’s only one problem with change and that’s society. Society makes it hard to get a job when you have a criminal record and so some get discouraged and return to drug dealing but very few stay persistent in changing. I’ve seen male friends of mine that can’t change habits from being institutionalized. I have a friend that has a criminal background and gets good jobs and somehow ends up fired because of fighting on the job. Since these males have been in the system so long they look at the world as a prison and get defensive about everything and think everyone is out to get them. At what point do these men say “enough is enough I need to change”? 

Then you have those with drug and or alcohol addictions. I recall standing outside on a summer day enjoying the weather and hearing guys say “ay yo you got a dutch or a wrap” or “who got piff” and automatically I’m annoyed. I’m not judgmental I just dislike how people have to publicize that they smoke marijuana or drink beer. Listen if you have a habit and you do it behind closed doors and nobody knows then it’s whatever cause that’s your business and you’re keeping it as your business but when you have to make it known to people you smoke or drink and you do it out loud then it just shows that you want people to know and you are what I said in the beginning of this article “a follower”. If you want to call me judgmental then I don’t give a fuck because that tells me you’re apart of those “followers” and you’ve taken offense to it. 

My thoughts are when will people grow up and when will they decide to have personal growth? Only you can break the patterns and break apart.

Sex In My City

I’m no Carrie in New York City but I have my own experiences. 

It was Thanksgiving 2008 and my family was having a sleep over at my mom’s house. My phone mysteriously rings and it’s an old friend named Maurice. Maurice and his best friend moved into a house in Yorbro which was down the street from my mom’s. I went to visit Maurice, I took my niece along. I met his best friend Roman and we all just talked and laughed a lot. Two days later I went to visit Maurice and we ate, caught up with conversations and had a good time. Maurice flirted with me but I love playing hard to get so I knew this would be interesting.  The next two weeks was flirting and no one made any moves. The following weekend we were both reading books in his room and Roman came in saying how his son’s mother wanted to sleep with him and he was going to go but didn’t because the thought of her naked made him nauseous. Roman eventually fell asleep. Maurice kept joking around about giving me oral sex and we laughed for a little while then it happened, we locked lips and damn it was like having an orgasm on your tongue! We went from kissing to my pants being halfway down and his mouth caressing my vagina. At that moment my eyes must’ve rolled back twice. Maurice flipped me around and penetrated my vagina with his thick penis and for a half hour my body felt as though it was somewhere else and as if we were the only two people on earth left. I couldn’t believe I had sex with him! We both went outside to my car to smoke a cigarette and stood quiet for several minutes. We both knew it was going to be way better than what we just experienced. Maurice had an ex wife that he still communicated with because he had a daughter with another woman that his ex wife named Lilly was helping him raise. Roman was desperate and annoying so I hooked him up with a friend/coworker. My friend Brooky was attracted to Roman and they liked each other. Maurice was at Lilly’s house helping her with a project. I went to the smoke room to smoke a cigarette and give Brooky and Roman some time to get to know each other. All of a sudden Maurice comes in and stands me up, turns me around, pulls my pants down and starts f$%king me from behind. Maurice puts my pants back up and slobs me down and leaves! I was in shock thinking “did he just f%#k me and left?” This was definitely a challenge and going to be interesting!

Sippy Cup Parents

Parents in today’s society have become lazy. While some kids are too thin others are overweight. Parents don’t realize the harm they are doing to their children. From what I’ve witnessed in the last decade is kids drinking out of sippy cups all day and night. From family, friends, neighbors, out in public there’s a kid with a sippy cup glued to their hand! Some kids don’t want to eat and others way too much and still sip on the cup full of chocolate milk. My fiancee’s daughter is constantly drinking out of her sippy cup with chocolate milk and that’s because her mother is raising her that way. The little girl is extremely thin and her teeth are disintegrating. From what I’ve learned from the pediatrician is that kids can be lazy eaters and so they replace milk with a meal.The sugar from the chocolate milk will damage the teeth. The milk in the cup gets the kid full that they won’t want to eat. The lazy parents gives their kid milk in a sippy cup so they don’t have to sit there taking their time feeding the kid. It’s disgusting to me. Kids falling asleep with chocolate milk full sippy cup is just nasty. The milk settles in their teeth and causes cavities and other stuff. I’ve tried feeding my fiancee’s daughter but because she starts having a fit I’m the bad evil step-mom. To be honest I’d love to shove a sippy cup down her mother’s throat for being a bad parent.

I Dislike Kids

Kids! Kids! Kids! These little people walk around being loud and rude. Yes I gave birth to 3 of them but I must say my kids never behaved like the way kids behave nowadays. The reality is that it’s the parents fault. I’ve witnessed rudeness and disrespect and the parents act like their kids are like that because they just don’t listen. I’ll give a few examples of what I’ve witnessed with friends and family. Disgusting!!! Parents A: their daughter is at my house and the parent witnessed her playing with my blinds on my windows and the parent says to me “She likes playing with them at our house” and I’m looking at her saying “this isn’t your house” and the parent laughed. In my brain I’m saying “no b!+ch go and laugh at your own house when your neighbors can see inside your home”. Parent B: The couple is visiting family and their daughter wants to go home after 7 minutes of being there so the little girl starts crying and the parents are moving frantically so they can go home. Had that been me  I would’ve told the brat “then wait in the car till I’m done cause that’s the closest you’re getting to home”. Parents C: these parents are oblivious to what their kids do and it crawls up my skin! So the kids are visiting and things start getting broken in my house and when the parent is confronted I’m told “they didn’t do it cause they told me they didn’t” so I said “who the f&#k are you? Stevie Wonder cause your kids are the only little ones here and my kids are 20, 18, and 14 and I’ve NEVER had anything broken till your brats came here” I was told I wanted to blame their kids. SERIOUSLY!!! Bottom line is kids are a f%#*ing nuisance cause their parents raise them that way. I don’t want kids in my house at all. The sign on my door will read “No kids allowed, please leave them outside”.

Alpha Female of the House

Since as far as  I can remember women usually took care of the house and men use to always have the final say in everything. Times have changed and some men are still stuck with those old ways. Women pay bills, keep everyone’s appointments in order, drives everyone everywhere, cooks for the whole household,  cleans the house, and works. So the man in the house no longer is the head of household. The woman becomes alpha female and runs a tight ship. In my house I am the alpha female and my fiancee is under me. My fiancee is one of those men that thinks males are superior in the home and women should obey. To prove that I am right I left him at home for a weekend with his two kids, my two adult sons and my teenage son. While I was away my phone kept getting calls and texts. Apparently they couldn’t function without me. When I got home my sons were waiting at the front door and my fiancee held me tight. Everyone missed me and my cooking and how I maintain the house. My fiancee thought it was difficult and as stubborn as he is he still believes in that little brain of his that he’s the alpha male which cracks me up. I will always be the alpha female in my home and he will always be beneath me or replaced if he keeps it up.

Stop facebooking your life!

Why do people have a tendency to post their life story on Facebook?? I believe people have such low self esteem and a need for attention. I’ve broken it up in a series of catergories. You have “Woe is me group” they post statuses about headaches, the flu, their bones hurt, got surgery done. I say to the “WIM group” buy a bottle of motrin & shut the hell up! Next is “Home Pixies group” this is a dumb bunch cause they take pics of every piece of furniture or electronics in their house. They should just post an ad on Craigslist saying “any thief is welcome tp come steal anything cause I just show cased a catalog on Facebook” prices- $free 99. Onto the next group which is “Hate My Mate subliminals” they post statuses complaining about men or women, which all along it’s about their own mate or someone they’re seeing. I say STOP complaining being that you post your life story we already know its your other half, then they make it easier for the next person to prey on them cause now their issues have been revealed and the next person will not do all the wrongs you do. Suckers! Next group is “Fake Chefs” and this group constantly post pics of what they cook. To me all I see is a plate of shit cause what they eat will be in the toilet about an hour or two after digesting. Next group is “Kids Pixies” this group posts pics of their kids. Stop giving predators images for their next activity. Next group “Butt Shotters” this group will only takepics of their backsides. I say knock it off cause Playboy won’t even glance at your pics full of cellulite and stretch marks, YOU ARE NOT MODELS! The people that click “Like” on the
pics “like” to make fun of you.

Men: Natural Born Liars

In my lifetime I’ve come across a long line of liars, especially men. Men are the worse liars and seem to do it naturally. I think when men start speaking as babies that their first word is “lie”. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying women don’t lie but men seem to do it on a daily basis! Men that are in relationships lie about 80% of the time and the sad part is that their mate analyzes their facial expression, body movement and twitches. Women know when their mate lies. One thing men constantly do is what I call “the blame game”, if they get home late their excuse is “(name of their friend) got into a problem” or if a woman finds something in their pockets while doing laundry the excuse is “that’s not mine it’s (the friend’s name”. All I hear is “blah blah blah”. Men don’t realize if they say the truth there will be less arguing and the woman will respect them for telling the truth.

Insecurity

Relationships have to have a form of trust. If your partner feels the need to look for any form of infidelity then the trust factor is gone. At times a person might be in a new relationship but has trust issues from a previous relationship and tend to carry that baggage with them. If you are guilty of snooping thru a phone or doing p.i. work then you are obviously insecure. Just admit it! Now if your partner gives you reasons to doubt them then that’s their fault. Don’t go crazy blaming yourself! Either you talk it out or move on from that person. Have you ever dealt with an insecure person? Do tell